How can you sell yourself?

When I was a dancer, I had several women (mostly professors) ask me, "How can you sell yourself like that?" I knew what "like that" meant - why would I want to get paid to be naked and sexual for strangers? The snarky answer is that it was better than doing it for free. But what tripped me up was the "yourself" part of the equation. I didn't feel like I was slicing off bits of organs for purchase. Many critics of prostitutes and porn stars and other sex workers focus on how sexuality is identified as "the self." I'd venture to say that many of the people who pose that question to sex workers (and I'm inclined to say female sex workers, although if there are any male sex workers who have had a similar experience, I'd love to hear about it) would not ask that same question of a physical therapist or a psychiatrist. Seeing a physical therapist is a sensual experience that involves touching in intimate ways, although general not pleasurable. Massage therapy may come closer to sex work, but people are very big on the "professionalization" trend toward licensing so that everyone knows they are not *that* kind of masseuse (no happy endings here). Then psychiatry - a good portion of my time was spent making people feel comfortable and valued. I was, as one of my friends refers to her therapist, a "pay friend." But "selling yourself" means having sex for money. Other forms of intimacy for cash don't count. I'd like to think of myself as a complete human who, at one point, sold varying levels of sexual access to my person. Leave that whole "She gave herself to him completely" romance innuendo bullshit at the door, please. I was always more than my pasties and t-back.

But I have been thinking about how one sells one's self.

Being a Marxist, I tend to rely on the notion that what employers should pay you for is your labor. However, working for the municipal government in Texas, I learned that what my employers were paying me for was my time. I was expected to be productive while I was at work, but even if there wasn't anything for me to do, I had to breathe their air until it was time for me to go home. In some ways, they were purchasing my availability, which is very different than paying me for my labor. Macro-economic perspective on the shift to a service economy inserted here.

Now I am back in the university system, whoring myself out in my favorite way - professional anthropology! I don't have any set hours - the job just has to get done. Sometimes this means I work ten hour days for a week at school and sometimes I work five or six hours a day from home. I get paid to do intellectual work (macro-economic perspective on information economy here) and I bet none of those snitty women would dare ask me how I felt about selling myself now, even though I tend to over-identify with my smarts rather than with my sex.

On the other hand, a dear friend has recently begun working at a corporate retailer after an extended, involuntary absence from the labor market. It was the only job available and like a trooper, they took it. As they were explaining to me the expectations of the job, I began to think about what corporate employers are buying from you. This person was required to submit to a drug screening (even though the most dangerous thing they will be doing involves moving boxes by hand). I found myself feeling self-righteous on their behalf. They don't even use drugs, but how could a corporation bully its way into your personal life, the life you lead outside of the labor (or even time) they are paying you for? But in order to get a job, they had to pee in a cup to prove that their personal habits weren't a liability to this national company. Proving morality with piss -  there's a Andres Serrano joke in there somewhere. I know others have made the argument that this type of surveillance is a form of discipline (good god, I love Foucault) but it creeps me out even more that it is a corporation disciplining its employees, like Big Brother in the form of the State wasn't horrifying enough. At least the State sometimes pretends that the welfare of its citizens matter more than profits.

The small humiliations that go along with my friend's new job may sound familiar to anyone who has worked in retail - wearing an apron (and who are we kidding, unless one is a blacksmith or a shoe cobbler, an apron is not unisex, making it more humiliating for men and reinforcing the role of service for women), having no control over their schedule, no health benefits for 3 months (and exceedingly poor benefits at that), no vacation or sick leave until January 1 of next year, being treated as a potential thief or a witless idiot as a matter of course, and (for some reason, this one really gets me) only having a half hour for lunch, non-negotiable. They get to enjoy all these perks while making a little more than minimum wage. The company has bought their time and labor during work hours and even the right to police this person's behaviors outside of work for less than it takes to maintain one person at 133% of the federal poverty level.

When I sold sexuality, sometimes it was because I felt like I had to. I needed rent or tuition. But I never felt like I was selling myself. Looking at what we expect from workers in a service economy, I think that metaphor might be better applied to how corporations such as this one treat their employees. How can they get away with demanding employees sell themselves (their time, their social behaviors outside of work) like that? And for that little money? I was always a stripper, even when I wasn't at the bar, but my autonomy was my own and I felt fairly compensated. I don't think my friend feels the same.