Writing to Make Sense

The written word. It is as if writing something down makes it more true or more real. This first became apparent to me when a professor told me, "If you don't write about it, it's like it never happened." In this case, she was referring to getting published, the spectre that haunts all academics. At the university level, writing becomes a fetish, both a thing (a paper or book) that stands in for other things (lived experience) and a magical talisman to ward off the evils of unemployment and irrelevance. 

 
While doing my PhD fieldwork on sadomasochism, the power of writing was made explicit. Some people chose to define their relationships through contracts, written documents outlining responsibilities and desired outcomes. These can be more or less explicit, but can include small ritual behaviors (such as a submissive not being allowed to sit on the furniture) and larger relationship structures (whether or not either partner may have outside romantic relationships). They also include practical aspects, such as when and what safer sex precautions will be used under specific circumstances. For some people, it is important that all of this is written down. Contracts can go on for pages. It is as if writing structures and binds a relationship. In some cases, contracts are literally signed in blood; the flesh made word.

For other people, contracts were anathema. They believed writing served as a stricture on the dynamic nature of the relationship. Metaphors of nature abounded in this argument, including growth, evolution, and the quality of being organic. Perhaps postmodernism as postliterate?

For me, social media falls somewhere in the middle. While I pursue my own more structured writing, in the form of academic articles and papers, I still need a place to suss out the finickier points of applying anthropology. Without some strictures, my thoughts run riot and unchecked growth and evolution lead to intellectual chaos. At the same time, I am suspicious of the colonizing power of the written word. I know, for example, that my dissertation will be the touchstone for some people who have no experience with the kinky community. It's a weighty responsibility. Despite my reflexivity and concern with representing my work as only my experience, I know some people will find themselves distorted in my words.

At the end of the day, I write for myself. I think more clearly when I've had the chance to spend some time with my keyboard. It is, however, a self-involved process. By posting a blog, I hope to get some feedback. Although it is pleasurable to talk to myself, as I seldom disagree with me, grad school has trained me to desire feedback. I hope you, dear reader, take this blog as not the Truth with a capital T but rather my interpretations of things. Please feel free to offer your own written truth and perhaps between us we can uncover a bit of reality.